Aqua Beads.

Aqua Beads are super mega awesome!*

So are the eight other toys recalled today. It was a bad day for Schylling (you can't make these names up), which had five toys recalled, including this robot from the future:

And even I might have bought this rad toy funny car (the irony keeps coming). Naw. I'm not a Mopar guy...

* Caution: Aqua Beads are a product of the Children Loving Repbulic of China (motto: We don't kill our baby girls, and we won't kill yours!) and may contain GHB, a.k.a. The Date Rape Drug. Any claims of super mega awesomeness reflect only the views of China where "super mega awesome" means "will cause child to go into a non-responsive coma." Aqua Beads should only be used When She Is Asking For It.