Cuteness, clarified.

It has come to my attention that there is some confusion regarding the Cute threshhold. I'll clarify.

The maximum Cute that will be accepted is four points. (Upon reconsideration, I raised it one point.)

I stand by the statement, though, that outfits should be limited to two Cutes. A romper like this in a primary color comes in at a perfectly respectable one point. And, this one comes in at negative 1.

Yes, points can be deducted for anti-Cute.

It's like golf. The lower the score the better.

The grandma-20-point-comment was simply hyperbole.

Cuteness.

Ostensibly, this will be yet another lame daddy blog, but since Number One isn't going to be born for a couple of more months, I've got to post about something. So here you go.

Actually, this is important, so pay attention.

I'm instituting a point system for all baby clothes - and girl clothes especially (because we're having a girl, duh). From now on, each piece of baby clothing will be scored by Cute points. Under this new system, each unit of Cute is worth one point, and only clothes with three or fewer Cute points will be accepted.

I don't care if you are my Grandmother, if you give me one more thing with 20 Cute points, I'll throw it right back in your face. I mean it.

First, given that baby clothes are made, in point of fact, for babies, which are inherently cute, each article of clothing starts out with one point. A point is also automatically awarded for any piece of clothing that is primarily pastel. So, right off the bat, almost every stitch of baby clothing gets two points.

Then for each bunny, chick, butterfly, heart, flower, you get the point, another point is awarded. If it's a flower or butterfly pattern, that's probably just one point per pattern, but additional points may be awarded depending on the Cute in question. A point will also be awarded for each superfluous fashion feature, such as a ruffles or lace on the collar or sleeve.

Take this for example. It gets one point for being baby Cute, and another for being pink. There's two more for the bear and the bunny, and two more for the chicks. One for the random collar, and another for being half-pink, half-white (a judgment call, I'll admit, but I'm going with it). That's eight Cute points for just one outfit.

For the love of god, people, no outfit should have more than two.

Stop the ultra-Cute.

Think about it.

I'll get back to you.

Here goes nothing.

Well, here it is. Post numero uno. Not that exciting really, now that its out there. Just another blog in an Internet full of blogs. Do you think 1,000 monkeys could have come up with this? Maybe I am 1,000 monkeys. Or is it more than that? Monkeys, I mean.

Anyway, I guess I'll at least add a link to something fun. It's about Jimmy Carter and a rabbit. How could that not be fun?