Easter at the DQ

(To be read in the voice of that lady at the Texas state fair wearing a magenta tube top, acid washed jeans and white tennis shoes, leading a pack of kids and saying, "No, Cletus, you cannot have another fried twinkie. As soon as your daddy gets done working his shift at the Tilt-a-Whirl, we're going to your Aunt Bobbie Jo's for supper. Now finish your corny dog.")

Last weekend, on Easter, we were driving back to Houston from Dallas, and Autie A and Uncle Deezie were driving back to Dallas from Houston, so we thought it would be fun if we met somewheres along the way.

Well, we ended up at the DQ in Fairfield, and I tell you, it was right nice. That Girl Cousin is growing like a weed. She's definitely her daddy's girl. I think she wanted to eat some of those tacos he was having - why he'll order tacos at the Dairy Queen I'll never know. 'Course then he ate what was left of Autie A's HungerBuster, too.

After supper we all had Blizzards before we got back on the road. I was gonna have a Dip Cone, but they said they couldn't dip right then. Something about something being too cold. I thought, of course it's cold - it's ice cream, dummies.

Anway, it sure was nice to see the in-laws and Girl Cousin. I know her and Number One are going to be thick as theives growing up.

Random Comments.

Number One slept from 8 p.m. until 7 a.m. this morning. A welcome reprieve from her schedule earlier in the week - fuss until falling asleep at 9 p.m., wake at 3 a.m. for a feeding, and wake for good at 5:30 a.m. - just because she felt like it. It was rough.

Earlier this week, we visited some friends whose first daughter was born three weeks ago. Precious little thing. She's tiny still - probably no bigger than 7 pounds.

I remember when Number One was just a few weeks old and some friends visited us with their five-month old. We thought she looked like a giant. It was strange to see Number One as the big girl.

Mom tried to let Number One take a sip out of her cup the other day. Not so successful. But funny.

Milestone.

I almost forgot one important milestone. She's figured out she hates Coldplay.

Four months.

Number One had her four-month Dr. appointment yesterday. It's hard to believe it's been four months already.

According to the Dr. she's doing perfect. She's a little on the small side, but nothing to be worried about and she's growing regularly - hitting all her developmental milestones and whatnot. Dr. also answered all my paranoid questions, like "She seems to be lefthanded, do I need to try to use her right hand more so she gets adequate stimulation for both sides?" (Answer: No. Stop being a weirdo.)

As for the milestones, here's what we've got so far:

1. Transfers toys from one hand to the other.

2. Puts everything she can grasp in her mouth.

3. Much prefers standing to sitting, though Mom is encouraging sitting when Number One will comply.

4. She can hold her upper body erect when standing or sitting, but still needs some work on balance.

5. Cute as hell.

Mom is going with pure breastmilk until at least six months, so nothing to report on the feeding front.

Also, Number One had to get five shots in the leg. She was not happy, and I couldn't watch.

Responsibility.

Responsibility is cleaning up the poop from something you feed.

It cracks me up when people who don't have kids say, "I know it's nothing like having a kid, but I have to do a lot things for my dog, blah, blah, blah..."

I usually tune out after "I know it's nothing like having a kid..."

Because the rest of it - yeah, they're right, it's nothing like having a kid.

Tourism.

It's not often that I'm solely responsible for the health and well being of Number One (sure, I take her out shopping at least once a week, but I always know that I can make a mad dash for home should the situation get too far out of control), but today she was 100 percent my responsibility while SuperWife went to get her hair done.

The plan was I could work from home as time allowed. Fat chance. There was a minor emergency at work, but thankfully the word came down that it could wait until Monday. Still, even between naps, there was barely enough time to even sit down, much less accomplish any work. I've never pretended that taking care of a baby wasn't a full time job, but it never hurts to give more credit to the moms and dads who stay home to do this very tough work.

Moreover, as hard as I try to be a good involved dad, there's no denying that Mom knows Number One way better than I do. While I'm away at work all day, they're living together, learning each other's likes and dislikes, falling into a schedule that is, if not easy or comfortable, at least knowable to the two of them.

I'm just a tourist.

Fierce.

I made this photograph of Number One this week. As Mom said, if we were "that kind of parent" she could be a baby model.

She's fierce, don't you think?

Tremendous Opportunity.

Disney and the other so-called "children's entertainment" companies are excited about creating virtual worlds for kids online.

"There is a massive opportunity here,” said Steve Wadsworth, president of the Walt Disney Internet Group, in an interview last week with the New York Times.

Let's be clear - the "massive opportunity" Mr. Wadsworth is touting, is the opportunity to sell kids shit they don't need - and lots of it.

Apparently it's working:

“It’s really fun to buy whatever you want inside the game,” Nathaniel said in a telephone interview. For his penguin, “like for Christmas I bought a fireplace, a flat-screen TV and a Christmas tree,” he said.

Why does a penguin need a flat-screen TV if not only to convince a 9-year old boy that an overpriced television manufactured by a corporate affilitate is essential to his childhood?

The Holidays.

The Holidays started the week before X-mas this year when Auntie A, Girl Cousin and the In Laws came to stay with us for a few days. It was the first time for us to meet Girl Cousin, who was born just eight days after Number One. She was delightful.

The girls had tummy time together. It sucked for them.

Given the potential for disaster with two infants in our little house, everything went amazingly well. The babies slept through the nights for the most part, and I didn't even talk politics with Mother In Law.

Then it was off to the Big D for four days of holiday fun...

All started out well and good, though I have to admit that chillin' in the car with the Wife breastfeeding behind the Arby's was not something I foresaw myself doing a year ago.

We made it to Omi's house, and after a quick visit to visit Sister and Boy Cousin - who is 12 days older than Number One and who we had also not met - we settled in for a long winter's nap. Or at least as long as she had been sleeping, which at that point was about nine hours.

From there, the sleeping went downhill as we traveled across the Metroplex and Number One's whole world was increasingly disrupted. Before the trip, she was sleeping for nine hour stretches starting at around 9:30 p.m.

Now, I'm blogging at 5:30 a.m., and I've been up for two hours, so I can't say that we're quite back on track.

Other than the sleep issues, the Holiday was wonderful.

Number One was, of course, the Belle of the Ball, meeting a whole family she never knew she had. The generosity of the Family and the In Laws was beyond compare, and we all had a very good time.

SuperWife got me a homebrewing kit, which I plan to put into action this weekend. I'm sure there will be more on this later...

I even had my first really serious hangover since Number One's arrival. I'm blaming Pop and his cigars. (Poor decision making and terrible parenting on my part were the real culprit.)

Success.

I saved the whales.

Thank you, Japan, for responding to my request to not kill Humpback Whales. Now, could you please not kill the 1,000 other whales on your list?