The Inaugural Address.

Hey, America,

For the last 16 years, you've acted like a spoiled, petulant schoolyard bully with no self control.  You've been coddled by your touch-feely parents and full of "he started it" recriminations.

It's time to starting acting like an adult now.

Happy Inauguration Day.

Number One doesn't know we have a new president.  She does, however, say some random words like, "eyebrow."  She loves "eyebrows."

Other favorite words: "painting," "clean," and "brown bear."

Also anything warmer than cold is "hot."

Baby talk.

I used to be amazed when I would talk to a kid that couldn't really talk yet, and their parents would know what they were saying.  It would go something like this:

Me: "Hey, buddy, what's going on?"

Kid: "Da!" (points).

Me: "Uhh, I don't really understand.  What do you want?"

Kid: "Da!" (points again).

Me: "Um, I still don't know what you're saying."

Kid: "Da!" (growing irritated).

Kid's Parent: "He wants you to go over there and pick up the red ball and throw it to the dog."

It was always a mystery to me how so much could be divined from so little.  

Now, though, Number One is saying quite a few words, all of them some variation of "Ba!" or "Da!" or "Ca!" and I'm starting to understand.

For example, "Ba!" when said when she's done eating dinner means, "I'm ready to go take my bath. Now!"

By contrast "Bo!" (with a short "o" like in "dog") almost always  means "I'm going to go get a book, and then you're going to read it to me. Now!"

"Ca!" usually just means "Cat!"

Bring me the book.

Number One can now understand and follow directions with amazing specificity. 

Say, "Bring me Who Says Quack."

She looks around, finds the right book, and brings it to you.

Say, "Put your bib in the drawer."

She takes her bib, walks to the right drawer and puts her bib in it.

She is also starting to properly use a fork and spoon.

Un-fucking-believable.

Four thousand words.

Mmmm. Cupcake.

Walking at the park.

Number One and Boy Cousin.

Hangin' with Auntie A and Girl Cousin.

Happy Birthday!

Wow.  It's hard to believe it's been a whole year.

Well, actually, a year and a day.  A day late and a dollar short.  That's how I roll as a Dad.  Pretty awesome, right?

This time last year, I was trying to sleep with Number One balanced on my chest.  Mom was afraid I'd drop her.  I didn't.  No way.

Now she walks.  Has her own shoes.  Follows me from room to room saying, "Da...da...da" over and over.   She knows what I'm saying.  Tries to tell me things.  Is pretty fucking awesome.

She had one birthday party already with Boy Cousin.  Tomorrow she's rocking her own party.  A good time shall be had by all.

Poopy, poopity.

So, most people probably think that we're crazy for trying to teach Number One how to use the potty on her own when she's less than one year old.

Still it's a total victory when I catch both a pee and a potty in the morning, like I did today.  Boo-motherfuckin'-ya.

Cleaning up a potty bum is about 1000 times easier than the same bum if the potty had occurred in the nappy.  

Even if she does end up anal retentive - it's worth it.

Post-Ike update.

Let's see.  What's happened in the last couple of weeks?

Oh, yeah.  Hurricane.   No power for 12 days.

Then there was something else...What was it?  

That's it! Number One started walking!  It's a natural disaster miracle!  The doctors said she'd never walk again, but she showed them!  I give a little thanks every day to that godforsaken Ike.

Not really.  Well, really she is walking, but the doctors never told us she wouldn't.  I made that up.

So what's the deal now?  Does she have to start wearing shoes and stuff?  

Innocence lost.

Ike

We decided to ride out Hurricane Ike, and he's making his unwelcome arrival right about now.

Number One seems unphased by her first hurricane.

We actually had a nice day.  The office was closed, and the weather was pretty nice all day.  Went to the park.  Number One spent some time crawling around in the grass, which she recently discovered and now loves.

It's actually getting pretty windy here now, but so far it looks like Ike isn't going to live up to the Cat 4 hype - despite what the national news is saying.  I heard Geraldo fell down.  I wish I could've seen that.

I'll update on the other side - assuming we have power.

Labor Day.

Spent some QT with the Wife and Number One this weekend. I don't think people are really meant to work away from their family for 40 hours a week 50 weeks a year.

Sometimes I think Number One doesn't know she's a baby. She's now pretty much refusing to eat "baby" food if we're all having a meal together. So today, she had roast beef sandwich and broccoli cheese soup for lunch.

She also had her first brunch with the gay and fabulous on Sunday. She was mayjuh with the singles as they went happily drinking their bottomless mimosas between hangovers.